2008 Woodie Awards
Editor-in-chief a typical conservative
Issue date: 10/23/06 Section: Letters to the editor
Monday, October 23, 2006
Ah, the start of a new quarter and the mating cry of the yellow belly conservative is heard in the land. "Poor me, poor me. I'm a victim! I'm a victim!"
I must say Mr. Sealana plays the part to perfection. Note how, in his world, it is always someone else's fault? The vast left-wing conspiracy has him in its clutches and are trying to cram their Godless immorality down his throat.
Furthermore, the immense herd of dumb De Anza College students and faculty are the ones who are wrong and they are simply being evil and perverse for not acknowledging it.
But not to worry. He has mastered the most essential of all conservative arts - lying. Note how Mr. Sealana bravely advises his fellow conservatives to turn their coats and hide their beliefs.
Or, as he puts it, "instead of standing up for your beliefs and engaging in debate, your best bet at surviving your time at De Anza is to assimilate. Become a liberal - or at least act like one..."
Who can blame him? After all, those deadly buzzwords that liberals use can slice right through a carefully nurtured belief system like a chainsaw, and leave you with nothing but questions, and college is certainly no place for a person with questions!
And if logic fails there is always the threat of violence. Imagine having to stand up to a herd of barley tree hugging, Chardonnay sipping, baby killing, cut and run liberals!
Why a fellow could be stomped to death with Birkenstocks!
For a true conservative, it is far better to play the part of Paul on the road to Calvary and deny the truth you believe in rather than run any risks.
I notice that, in this time of national emergency, when there is a great need for cannon fodder to fill the maw of Mr. Bush's war, that Mr. Sealana - true conservative that he is - emulates Vice President Cheney and has other priorities.
Keep up the great work, Mr. Sealana. You
are a great inspiration to us all!
- John Rickman
--
See related article:
De Anza conservatives: Help is on the way
Ah, the start of a new quarter and the mating cry of the yellow belly conservative is heard in the land. "Poor me, poor me. I'm a victim! I'm a victim!"
I must say Mr. Sealana plays the part to perfection. Note how, in his world, it is always someone else's fault? The vast left-wing conspiracy has him in its clutches and are trying to cram their Godless immorality down his throat.
Furthermore, the immense herd of dumb De Anza College students and faculty are the ones who are wrong and they are simply being evil and perverse for not acknowledging it.
But not to worry. He has mastered the most essential of all conservative arts - lying. Note how Mr. Sealana bravely advises his fellow conservatives to turn their coats and hide their beliefs.
Or, as he puts it, "instead of standing up for your beliefs and engaging in debate, your best bet at surviving your time at De Anza is to assimilate. Become a liberal - or at least act like one..."
Who can blame him? After all, those deadly buzzwords that liberals use can slice right through a carefully nurtured belief system like a chainsaw, and leave you with nothing but questions, and college is certainly no place for a person with questions!
And if logic fails there is always the threat of violence. Imagine having to stand up to a herd of barley tree hugging, Chardonnay sipping, baby killing, cut and run liberals!
Why a fellow could be stomped to death with Birkenstocks!
For a true conservative, it is far better to play the part of Paul on the road to Calvary and deny the truth you believe in rather than run any risks.
I notice that, in this time of national emergency, when there is a great need for cannon fodder to fill the maw of Mr. Bush's war, that Mr. Sealana - true conservative that he is - emulates Vice President Cheney and has other priorities.
Keep up the great work, Mr. Sealana. You
are a great inspiration to us all!
- John Rickman
--
See related article:
De Anza conservatives: Help is on the way
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