La Voz

If a car could be murdered, the chalk outline found at the crime scene would be a De Anza College parking space.

The parking places at De Anza allow for the smallest amount of space it takes to squeeze in a car. This allows the school to fit in as many cars as possible.

There are two ways to look at a parking spot: an area that determines how many steps are needed to reach a destination or how many dents a car will have to endure to insure that walk to class. If you're impatient, it is an opportunity to beat the hell out of another person's car.

There are simple solutions to avoid car on car violence. Park in the back, park in the middle, whatever. Just don't park in one of the first four rows.

It's puzzling to see students vulturing the first two rows of the parking lot when they could park in the back, walk to class and gain an extra five minutes for a cup of coffee, rather than keeping an eye on every parked car.

A lot of people at De Anza just graduated high school. Eighteen-year-old California residents have a maximum driving experience of two years.

That's a maximum -- it's probable that there are eighteen-yearolds with a month of driving experience trying to park in the lots, too.

Except for hoopties that don't mind punishment or dentresistant Saturns, the back is the answer. An intelligent person once said, "once you go back, you never go back."

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