2008 Woodie Awards
Graduation ceremonies are useless, should be done away with
Soheil Rezaee
Issue date: 6/2/08 Section: Opinion
It's June, and for many high school students, this means only one thing: graduation. As part of this ritual, students receive a diploma during a pretentious, gaudy ceremony - an ordeal which few remember and none enjoy.
Thankfully though, you only have to go through this once. Oh, wait ...
Given the horrid experience of graduation in high school, why are we determined to repeat it in college? Seriously, don't we remember just how silly it was?
Prior to the event, students practiced parading around in a straight line for days. The belief among ceremony planners and administration officials must be that students are incapable of walking in a straight line, so long hours must be wasted in training them how to do it.
Before entering the room where all their classmates are waiting on graduation day, students are searched by a campus official for concealed blow horns.
And why? Well, some time ago, the parents of some nobody complained that they missed a photo opportunity of their child receiving a diploma because of all the blow horns going off.
Finally, students parade out to the bleachers wearing a gown that they paid $50 for and will never wear again.
And, since the event takes place in summer, there is a chance that the day will be the hottest of the year and graduating students will be wearing three layers of clothing.
The first half of the event is when some VIPs give speeches about the future and how students are the hope for a better tomorrow.
The first one to speak is the school principal. He will give a passionate speech about how all the students attending his school are special.
Afterward, a few students who volunteered come up and give another speech about how great their class was.
Then the principal announces the names of the valedictorians and has them come up on stage to brag about how they got into Stanford or Yale.
All the boring speeches done with, it is time for the students to parade down to the front of the stage to receive some paper that has "High School Graduate" written on it in bold lettering.
After that, there's a moment for pictures and saying goodbye to close friends and teachers.
A graduation ceremony is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but in reality, it is the most depressing thing after a funeral. Only after it's all over do students come to regret not taking the advice of their friends who took the GED and started college early.
To undergo such a useless tradition not once, but twice, is just a bad joke to many students.
It would be far more reasonable to just give the diplomas out to students on the last Monday of the school year and be done with it.
Thankfully though, you only have to go through this once. Oh, wait ...
Given the horrid experience of graduation in high school, why are we determined to repeat it in college? Seriously, don't we remember just how silly it was?
Prior to the event, students practiced parading around in a straight line for days. The belief among ceremony planners and administration officials must be that students are incapable of walking in a straight line, so long hours must be wasted in training them how to do it.
Before entering the room where all their classmates are waiting on graduation day, students are searched by a campus official for concealed blow horns.
And why? Well, some time ago, the parents of some nobody complained that they missed a photo opportunity of their child receiving a diploma because of all the blow horns going off.
Finally, students parade out to the bleachers wearing a gown that they paid $50 for and will never wear again.
And, since the event takes place in summer, there is a chance that the day will be the hottest of the year and graduating students will be wearing three layers of clothing.
The first half of the event is when some VIPs give speeches about the future and how students are the hope for a better tomorrow.
The first one to speak is the school principal. He will give a passionate speech about how all the students attending his school are special.
Afterward, a few students who volunteered come up and give another speech about how great their class was.
Then the principal announces the names of the valedictorians and has them come up on stage to brag about how they got into Stanford or Yale.
All the boring speeches done with, it is time for the students to parade down to the front of the stage to receive some paper that has "High School Graduate" written on it in bold lettering.
After that, there's a moment for pictures and saying goodbye to close friends and teachers.
A graduation ceremony is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but in reality, it is the most depressing thing after a funeral. Only after it's all over do students come to regret not taking the advice of their friends who took the GED and started college early.
To undergo such a useless tradition not once, but twice, is just a bad joke to many students.
It would be far more reasonable to just give the diplomas out to students on the last Monday of the school year and be done with it.
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